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Frequent cell-phone and email contact between parents and their children moving into the college / work environment is fueling a new kind of parent involvement beyond the normal breaking-away years. At the same time, many parents worry that their kids will never leave the nest and want to give them a push. Striking a balance can be especially difficult when adult children go jobless.
In a recent Wall Street Journal article (3/16/06), Sue Shellenbarger described the phenomenon of parents of 20-somethings who are “hovering at the office;” calling employers, asking them to hire their children. Offers are held up by kids who must first consult with Mom and Dad. Parents call hiring managers to protest pay packages and try to renegotiate. Figuring they cannot beat the trend, some employers are joining it by inviting parents to recruiting events and sending them copies of recruits’ offer letters.
Even if young adults lack real-world skills, most experts recommend letting them set out on their own anyway, to build confidence. Parents might share contacts, observations, wisdom and experiences; serve as a sounding board and mentor, help figure our what questions to ask. Beyond that, young adults need to go out and make it happen. They should do all the cold-calling of employers, sending resumes, interviewing, and negotiating job terms – by themselves.
Do you have young adults in transition? Need some help working through the process of “letting go?” Coaching is an ideal venue for developing a well balanced approach to change.
If you are a 20-something, learning to dream and function apart from parents, you may benefit most by taking time to focus your vision of the future. Give us a call. Today! (425) 774 – 4118 or drop us a note at: info@soundviewcoaching.com
“To leave parents means that we leave a role behind. We move out from ‘under their guardianship and management.’ We establish our adulthood apart from their psychological domain.” - Cloud & Townsend The Mom Factor
Are you stuck where you are? What would it take for you to break free? What other ways could you manage what you have now? How much do you really need?
The writer of the Proverbs remarked that “In all toil there is profit” (Prov.14:23 RSV) What kind of “profit” are you enjoying from your work?
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